In My Head: ‘Help! Patience Ozokwor is going to ruin my marriage to Adesua Etomi’ – Banky W

I put a call through to Banky W. And as I feared, wahala is already happening.


Adesua and Banky

The Wedding Party 2 team are currently enjoying themselves while hard at work in Dubai shooting the film.

Photos and videos of them in the United Arab Emirates capital have been showing up on social media in recent times.

Many people cannot wait to see the film after Nollywood veteran, Patience Ozokwor was added to the lineup of cast.

Seeing what this has the potential to mean for the ‘marriage’ between Banky W and Adesua Etomi , I put a call through to Banky W. And as I feared, wahala is already happening.

Our conversation is below:

ME: Mister Capable. How far? This is ‘Segun Odejimi. I know you don’t have my number.

BANKY W: Yeah. Been asking around for it. I read the interview you did with Susu. She told me about it and I was initially skeptical but it turned out great. Thank you bro.

ME: Don’t mention. I live for you guys.

BANKY W: Wow! That’s cool of you to say. Susu and I will ensure you get a seat in front at our wedding.

ME: You don’t have to do that. I don’t like being in public eye. But I actually wasn’t referring to just you and Adesua. I live for the whole Nollywood community.

BANKY W: I see. All the same. You have to attend our wedding. [sudden sadness in voice] That’s if it happens…

ME: Why? You’re tired of Adesua already? Or is Don Jazzy guilt tripping you for leaving the Nigerian Bachelors Society just like that?

BANKY W: Nah. It’s Patience Ozokwor .

ME: How?

BANKY W: You know she has been added by the producers of The Wedding Party 2 and she’s actually supposed to play my mother’s elder sister.

ME: Oh… She will be Ireti Doyle’s elder sister in the film?

BANKY W: Yeah. In the film, she’s supposed to try to disrupt my marriage with Adesua. She is going to try to do her best to put us asunder. You know she has played the horrible mother-in-law part in movies for long.

ME: True, Banky. True.

BANKY W: I mean, she’s killing the role in the film but the problem is that she seems to be taking the role really literally and bringing it into the real world. Anytime she sees Susu and I, she runs from wherever she is and comes to pull us apart as if it is a fight she is separating. The other day, Susu and I were enjoying ourselves in our hotel pool, she was supposed to be learning her lines with RMD. Immediately she saw us, she left RMD, pushed her way towards the pool screaming and pulled Adesua by her hair.

ME: Ah!!!

BANKY W: You remember how Adesua screamed in The Wedding Party when she noticed her wedding gown had torn?

ME: Yeah!

BANKY W: That’s exactly how she screamed.

ME: Wawu!

BANKY W: I’m afraid Madam Patience will sabotage our marriage…

ME: Wait! When are you guys planning the wedding to be?

BANKY W: No, I’m not telling you yet.

ME: And you don’t want to tell the world?

BANKY W: Not yet.

ME: Let’s talk about the proposal for a moment. Why did you spell ordinary ‘MARRY’ incorrectly? So, when your kids are looking at the proposal photo, they will see that their father cannot spell ordinary MARRY?

BANKY W: Don’t mind Ebuka . He was the one I asked to put the flowers and candles in the room in preparation for the proposal. He’s the one who made the mistake.

ME: So Ebuka does not know how to spell?

BANKY W: Of course, he does. But y’know, sometimes, these things happen.

ME: Of course, they do. Is Don Jazzy officially the new head of that you people’s Nigerian bachelors society to which you used to belong?

BANKY W: Yes. But he’s leaving that post very soon.

ME: Really?

BANKY W: Yes.

ME: For who? Linda Ikeji finally stole his heart?

BANKY W: Not her.

ME: Genevieve Nnaji?

BANKY W: Not her.

ME: Who then?

BANKY W: Cossy .

ME: Sir? You say?

BANKY W: Cossy Orjiakor

If you think this conversation happened in any place apart from my head, The Pope is getting married at a public ceremony at Eko Hotel and Suites this Saturday and you are specially invited. Donald Trump will be in attendance.

This post first appeared on TNS .

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